Grandparents raising Grandkids

Do you have Grandchildren?  There can be great joy in watching your children's children grow up.  But some Grandparents also play the role of parent.  They choose to become the legal guardian of their Grandchild for various personal reasons.  They then have to deal with issues that they probably didn't plan on having to deal with at their age.  Raising Grandchildren may present legal, financial and health challenges.  If you are thinking of accepting this responsibility or have already decided, educate yourself on what you need to do to be the best you can be in your new role.  A strong loving bond with your Grandchild will be your reward! This web page will help you to get information about raising your Grandchild.  Start your research by reading our article, "I love you, Grandma-mom!"  Learn about one woman's journey from Grandparent to Grandma-mom.  See how she found herself in this situation, and learn how she successfully navigated through legal issues and financial concerns.  After you read our article, follow the Related Links we provide to other informative and helpful web sites about Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.  Also, please have a look at a few of the Books we recommend below.  We wish you much success in your new role as a Grandparent raising a Grandchild!  Related Links: U.S. Government, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - The U.S. Government's Official Web Portal page on the subject.  Lots of links including resources for each state.   AARP, Help for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - A list of articles on support and other help for Grandparents.   Grandparenting.org, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - A good sized excerpt from "The Grandparent Guide" (by Dr. Kornhaber) on "Raising Grandchildren"   Grandparents as Parents - Although this is a local support group in NW Washington, they have a good list of links.   Illinois Department on Aging, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - Another local site but they do have some general articles in their Features section.   Family Life E-seminar, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - Web site for an electronic seminar on the subject.  There are links to research papers, video clips and other Resources.     Read These Books: Want more information? Check out these e-books on Raising children.

I love you, Grandma-mom! by Janie Sullivan   1/13/06 I remember my grandparents. Vaguely. Every summer my brothers and I would pile in the station wagon with Mom and Dad and drive to Evanston, Wyoming, to visit Grandma and Grandpa. I remember watching Grandma in her flower printed dress grab the ring in the kitchen floor and pull up the trap door over the cellar. I remember the smell of dirt and damp when she clomped down the wooden stairs in her big, black, thick-heeled shoes. I don't remember much more, we only saw them once a year for about a week when we were kids. After we grew into teenagers and then young adults, we did not see them that much. Grandpa died first, then five years later Grandma followed him. All my friends had grandparents that lived far away. Grandparents they saw once in a while. I do not remember my grandparents having jobs; in fact, I did not know what my grandfather did for a living until many years after his death. My grandmother did not work outside the home. She raised eight children. I wonder what she would think about me being a grandmother. She might not understand why my three year old granddaughter lives in my house without her mom or her dad. In fact, my grandmother would probably be shocked that my granddaughter does not even know who her father is and that her mother is in jail. I am a baby boomer, a single mother of three, a single grandmother of seven, and one of the growing group of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. My daughter, who spent most of this pregnancy (her second) in jail, delivered a beautiful baby girl by caesarian section on May 22, 2002. I was in the delivery room with her and was the first person to hold the baby. The father had not really ever been in the picture, and he certainly was not at the hospital that day. He has his own family somewhere else and is not interested in this baby. Little Trinity is three now, and her mother is back in jail, the second time since Trinity was born. The last time she was arrested, I went to court and applied for legal guardianship. I needed to make sure Trinity was taken care of, and there was no one to care for her but me. Types of legal control and how to get through the courts Legal guardianship, very similar to legal custody, was the route I chose to go after looking at my options. With guardianship papers signed by the judge I was able to add Trinity to my health insurance at work, enroll her in day care, and take her to the doctor. I had to provide my papers at all three places in order to sign anything that pertained to Trinity's care. The first step in getting legal guardianship is to file for Emergency Guardianship. This is a short hearing in family court that can be done anytime after discovering a need to take over legal control of a minor. In order for the judge to grant Emergency Guardianship, you have to show that there is an urgent need for the child to be removed from his or her current situation. Go to the courthouse and ask for the paperwork for Emergency Guardianship. There will be a fee, probably around $160. The paperwork is not complicated, but in it you must state the reasons for the action. In my case it was straightforward. The judge signed the papers the same day, granting a 90-day Emergency Guardianship. Most insurance companies will not allow you to add a minor to your insurance who is not your child, even with Emergency Guardianship papers. I had to wait the 90-day period, and then appear before the judge again to ask for Permanent Guardianship before I could add Trinity to my insurance. The clerk also told me that when I returned for my hearing for Permanent Guardianship the judge would want to see proof that I had tried to contact the father, and that the mother had signed and notarized an affidavit granting me permission to take over the guardianship of her daughter. Having my daughter sign the document was the easy part. I did not know how I was going to find the father, but the clerk said that all the law required was that I 'publish' a legal notice in the local newspaper. I contacted the newspaper and started to tell them what I wanted. The person at the newspaper knew immediately what I was doing and asked for a copy of the order showing the date of the hearing. The notice had to appear for three consecutive issues of the paper to meet the legal requirement for 'publication.' There was a charge of $84 to do this. Ninety days later I appeared in court with my proof of publication, the signed and notarized affidavit from my daughter, and a receipt for the payment of all the fees. The judge asked me a few questions, asked if anyone in the courtroom had any objections, and granted the Permanent Guardianship. Legal custody The main difference between guardianship and custody is that custody is more permanent. Even though the guardianship is called permanent, it is not. I have to file guardianship renewal papers every year for the guardianship to continue. I can do this through the mail, however, and not go to court unless asked to appear again. I have all the rights and responsibilities of legal custody, but I do have to renew every year. Legal custody continues until one of the parents contests it or the custodian cancels the petition. Grandparent support groups I did a Google search on the keywords Grandparents raising Grandchildren and had 127,000 hits returned to me. There is a wealth of information online for grandparents raising grandchildren. There are books, articles, legal documents, and support groups. Look in your local paper, check with the churches, investigate the senior citizen organizations. In our neighborhood, the local community college held a meeting last year for grandparents raising their grandchildren. Financial concerns Although I make a good living, I was not counting on a day care bill of over $500 a month. This expense can strain the budget of anyone. The director of the day care center told me about a source of financial help that I was unaware of: child only grants. What this means is that the state, through the Department of Economic Security, will pay all or part of my day care expense because I am not the parent of Trinity. However I am her legal guardian, a requirement for applying for a child only grant. I got the paperwork from the local DES (welfare) office, completed it, wrote CHILD-ONLY grant on the top of it and submitted it. They count only the income of the child to determine the amount of the grant available. My three year old Trinity does not have much income, in fact, she has none! Types of income a child COULD have include food stamps, social security, and cash from family assistance programs. In fact, there are cash grants I could apply for using the Child-Only provision, but I do not need cash assistance. With the day care grant I pay $1.00 a day to the day care center, which really helps when I am planning my budget. Some friends and even family members tell me they don't understand why I am doing this. They say I don't have to, that there are programs that will take care of Trinity if her parents cannot or will not. They sometimes resent the fact that I don't have time for socializing anymore, or that any social activities I do take part in must include Trinity. They may be right, but I know that I could not do anything else. I don't want to say I don't have any other choice, because I do. However, I have made the only choice I know how to make: to take care of Trinity for as long as I need to. And when she wraps those little arms around my neck and whispers, "I love you, Grandma-mom," it is all worth it. I think my Grandmother would agree.

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