Death of a Pet

Goro, Fritz Buy at AllPosters.com Pets are just like one of the family.  In fact, your dog, cat, bird or other beloved pet IS a member of your family.  When they pass on, it is normal to feel a deep sense of loss.  Our article on Pet Loss will help you deal with the death of a beloved animal as you learn that your grief and sorrow are a normal reaction.  Want more information? Here are some books about Pets.

Pet Loss Coping with the passing of a beloved pet by Angelica Candelaria   5/26/09 I struggled with the wisdom of writing a piece concerning pet loss. The passing of our own beloved dog, Pegasus, is quite recent. Inasmuch as I endeavor to redirect my thoughts, the grief has not dissipated. Although I have endured the deaths of three other furry companions, Pegasus' absence has wrenched my heart in a distinct way. The week preceding his departure--the very circumstances surrounding it--were arduous to withstand. I cannot bring myself to divulge the heartbreaking details, and I know I shall be unable to write this without shedding many tears. When you have suffered the loss of a pet, it is difficult for observers--especially those who would not be defined as "animal lovers"--to comprehend your grief. In an effort to help, tactless and dismissive comments may be proffered: "It's just an animal," or "You can get another pet." They cannot comprehend your level of sorrow. On many occasions, the grievers themselves do not understand and are taken aback by their own emotional responses. There may be an internal struggle riddled with questions such as, "Am I exaggerating here? Is this appropriate? Is this normal? Am I being foolish?" I have asked myself these very things amidst my sadness. Accompanying them is a thought that I suspect many have had: "It is not as though a human being has died." However, we must not join others in invalidating our own grief. Instead, we must confront it and strive to be gentle with ourselves in the process. The reality is, you have lost a family member, a companion that had become a significant part of your life. However misunderstood, the bond forged between a pet and its owner can be a powerful one. It is not an extreme reaction to deeply feel such a loss. Indeed, it is both natural and expected, contrary to any dissenting views. Although patterns of grief differ from person to person, do not be surprised if you experience guilt, denial, depression, and anger. In my own situation, I felt we had not done all we could for Pegasus and thus guilt ensued. This feeling was exacerbated by the fact that we could not be at his side when he was euthanized. I was devastated by the reality that in his final moments, he did not have the comfort of beholding the familiar faces he had grown accustomed to over the course of ten years. I tormented myself thinking that he probably felt frightened and confused, wondering why we had forsaken him. In actuality I do not know how he felt, and thus I was needlessly placing upon myself additional sorrow. When your mind begins to entertain certain thoughts--whether they be steeped in depression, denial, anger, or guilt--you must challenge their validity and put forth an effort, however painstaking, to not be consumed by them. If, for example, you discover that you were in some way responsible for your pet's passing, do not use that painful truth as a whip to mercilessly castigate yourself. Instead, use it as a tool for improvement in the future. If you ever acquire another pet, strive not to commit the same errors; strive to be an even better pet owner. In all of this, I've had to learn to be gentle with myself. Although others were insisting that I clear away Pegasus' belongings within a certain time frame, I refused to comply and decided to set my own pace. There were many moments in which I could not bear the sight of the backyard where he spent most of his days. The notion of going outside to clear away his toys and bowls was unthinkable, therefore I waited until I had built a certain degree of emotional fortitude before proceeding. Although I cried throughout, I was able to do what was necessary. There is nothing wrong with temporarily postponing certain difficult tasks or momentarily setting aside grievous thoughts. We all require a respite, especially amidst such stress and sorrow. However, if you are refusing to accept a painful event altogether, you are most certainly steeped in denial. Although it is tempting, obstinately avoiding reality will not help you move past the loss of your pet. It will only prolong your suffering. Likewise, holding onto anger--whether it be toward yourself or other individuals you feel are to blame for your pet's passing--only hinders your heart from healing. Heart Patient Petting Dog, Boy's Life Saved by Technique That Was First Tried on the Dog Photographic Print Goro, Fritz Buy at AllPosters.com Do not be afraid to seek help and comfort, especially if you find yourself mired in persistent, negative emotions. There is no need to feel silly, ridiculous, or stupid for reaching out for assistance. If you do not have family or friends who are willing or able to help, consider other options such as counseling, support groups, or online message boards designed for grieving pet owners to interact with one another and express themselves freely. There are also many informative books available that can help you understand and cope with your loss. If you need to cry, do so. If you wish to write a poem, create a scrapbook of photographs and memories, or make some sort of dedication in honor of your beloved pet, do so as well. These and other such outlets will help you during this difficult time. Writing this article is part of my own healing process. It is my prayer that as we all seek to confront and deal with our grief, that we will remember how blessed we were to have our pets. I also pray that we will be strengthened to gaze beyond our mourning and consider the myriad blessings we continue to enjoy. Comments

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