LookingForClues - Article

  Special Needs Children

Do you have a Special Needs child in your family?  If you are a parent with a Special Needs child, you know that they often require greater care and attention then other children may need.  But don't forget to make their siblings feel loved and special too.  If you are the sibling of a Special Needs child, you may feel at times that you are neglected.  Speak with your parents about your feelings; they may not know how you feel unless you reach out to them. 

This web page has some resources for parents and siblings of Special Needs children.  Please read our article further down on this page - "Raising Special Needs Children: Siblings Have Special Needs Too".  It was written by a woman who has two children, one of which has special needs.  Learn from her experiences with raising them both.   Realize that Every Child has Special Needs!

After you have read our article, follow the Related Links to related articles and further information on Special Needs children.  For even more information about Special Needs children, please buy a few of the Books we recommend below.  Talk to your children and help them to understand that each one is special in their own way!

 Related Links:

Tools for Parents of Children with Disabilities and Special Needs
A 19 part article that gives bulleted lists of things to consider in regards to many topics related to Special Needs Children.

Being Different: Raising a Special Needs Child 
Another article on raising a special needs child, from LifeToolsForWomen.com.
 

When Special Needs Spark Sibling Rivalry
An article about siblings of children with special needs. See more articles on this related page .

Parenting Special Needs Forum 
A forum to talk about special needs children.  From specialchildren.about.com.

Moms of Special Needs Children 
"In this forum, you will talk with other parents of children with disabilities who are dealing with the same issues that you face every day."

 Read These Books:
Parents of children with special needs face unique emotional and practical challenges that are seldom addressed by the medical community. In Special Kids Need Special Parents, Judith Loseff Lavin-herself the parent of a child with special needs-draws on interviews with health care professionals, nationally recognized authorities, and other parents to give readers the answers, advice, and comfort they crave.
 
* Coping with chronic pain, sleep problems, and frequent hospitalizations
* Dealing with feelings of grief and anger
* Choosing a therapist
* Finding suitable, reliable childcare
* How to cope with teasing
* The impact a child with special needs can have on a marriage, siblings, and grandparents
* Finding cosmetic, prosthetic, and orthotic help
* and more
Kids in the Syndrome Mix is a concise, scientifically up-to-date, all-in-one guide to the whole range of often co-existing neuro-behavioral disorders in children - from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), obsessive-compulsive disorder, and bipolar disorder to autistic spectrum disorders, nonverbal learning disabilities, sensory integration problems, and executive dysfunction. Dr. Kutscher provides accessible information on causes, symptoms, interactions with other conditions, and treatments. He presents effective behavioral strategies for responding to children who display traits of these disorders - whether at home, at school, or in other settings - along with case vignettes and practical tips.
Raising NLD Superstars is essential reading for all those who come into contact with children with nonverbal learning disorders (NLD). Instead of insisting upon the one-size-fits-all model of intervention, the author focuses on the individual nature of NLD children and offers practical, adaptable advice that will help them find their place both in the family and in wider social groups. The author shares her experiences of life as the parent of a child with NLD with humanity and humor. She looks not only at day-to-day practicalities such as making meal times easier for all the family and reaching compromises on inappropriate clothing choices but also at the long-term plan for independence. The book will help parents and careers to support children with NLD to reach their emotional and cognitive potential while taking into account the views and experiences of other family members.
Written by an experienced school psychologist, this unique resource gives classroom teachers and specialists at all levels the key information and practical stategies they need to recognize and respond effectively to 30 of the most common problems encountered in today's classroom, including:
 
ACADEMIC PROBLEMS: Auditory Processing Problem · The ESL Student · The Gifted Student · Handwriting Problem · Math Anxiety · Mild Mental Retardation · Reading Disability · Speech and Language Problems · Spelling Problem · The unmotivated Student
 
BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS: The Aggressive Student · Attention Deficit Disorder · Autism · The Disorganized Student · The Disruptive Student · Low Seld-Esteem · The Perfectionist Student · The School Phobic Student · The Shy Student · Stuttering
 
PHYSICAL PROBLEMS: AIDS and HIV · Asthma · Cerebral Palsy · Cystic Fibrosis · Diabetes · Epilepsy · Hearing Impairment · Spina Bifida · Tourette Syndrome · Visual Impairment

Enjoy our exclusive Feature Article:

Raising Special Needs Children: Siblings Have Special Needs Too

by Michelle L. Devon   6/28/06

Parents who raise special needs children usually take the time to become well informed on the requirements for their special needs child. If you are raising a special needs child, then you know how time consuming this loving endeavor can be for your family. Perhaps you attend seminars, have numerous doctor appointments, see a counselor or family therapist, read books on the subject, attend support groups, and all sorts of other things in order to be informed about your special needs child's issues and treatments. While all of this is crucial to the success of rearing a special needs child, a parent cannot forget that the special needs child's siblings have special needs too.

I am the parent of a special needs child. My son is a loving 12 year old young man who was born with a breathing disorder, has a hearing impairment, and has also been diagnosed with severe ADHD. My daughter, who is now 18 years old, did not have these difficulties and struggles. However, I've come to learn that all children have their own special needs, even if the child does not have an illness or disability. It is easy to become consumed with all the necessities required for the special needs child in the family and neglect the needs of the other child or children in the family who function with less assistance. These children still need your love and attention, but because they have a special needs sibling, these siblings also have certain special needs that should be addressed.

It is very common for a sibling of a special needs child to feel as though the family focuses their attention only on the special needs sibling, and they may feel neglected or 'ordinary' because they do not require the same type of attention. Now that my daughter is older, we have talked about how she felt when my son was born and needed special care. She told me that the one thing she loved about me as her mom was how I made sure to let her know that she too was a unique and special individual.

While many siblings may take a very active role in helping to care for the special needs brother or sister and even assist parents with day-to-day tasks, it is not surprising to find a sibling acting out in order to gain more of the parents' attention when they feel neglected because their special needs brother or sister receives so much of their parents' time.

When a sibling of a special needs child suddenly has a change in habits or behavior, parents should pay special attention to what may be causing this change. Seeking attention can often result in negative behavior that can easily be redirected by just spending a little one-on-one time with the child. It is important for parents of special needs children to schedule some private or alone time to spend with the other siblings in the family, without the special needs child. Not only will this provide the parent with a break from the responsibilities of daily chores, but it will also help to build a bond with the children. This can be as simple as making the time for a routine of a special bedtime story just for them or even scheduling a weekly outing they can look forward to during the week, even for just an hour.

Another thing to keep in mind is that it is important for all family members to know what is happening and how these special needs affect their lives. While younger children may not be able to fully understand what is happening, it is still important to keep them informed with age appropriate information. Information and knowledge is empowering, and keeping the other siblings in the loop will help them feel more grown-up and let them know you trust them. This way, the sibling will feel that they are an active part of the family and are included in the decisions that are made because of their special needs sibling that may affect them.

It is also very important that you schedule time to take care of yourself too. Utilize respite care, babysitting services, or a family member to care for your special needs child, or leave them alone for a short time if it is safe to do so. Take the time to soak in a hot tub, read a book and relax, or take a long walk. If you can afford to, schedule some time at the spa or a gym, enroll in a class or some special activity that is just for you, to give yourself a break. You will find yourself more refreshed and energized, and in general, you will be able to provide even better care for your children.

Raising a special needs child is never an easy chore, and it is even more difficult when there are other children to raise too. But it can be a labor of love and very rewarding, as long as you take the time to take care of your needs. When parents take the time to ensure that each child knows that their needs will be met, then the family can work together to support each other when a special needs child adds additional responsibilities to the family unit. When parents make the effort to include all their children in the decisions and tasks for the family, as well as making time to spend with each child one- on-one, then all the children in the family will know that they, in their own way, are also special.

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